Hogstanfarn is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, narcissistic snake.

Hogstanfarn created dark matter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hogstanfarn, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Hogstanfarn, he will send you a sign.

Hogstanfarn's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Hogstanfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Put Hogstanfarn first in all things.

2. Do not eat lemons.

3. Never feed figs to eagles while wearing green rings.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.