Jonbitril is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, ill-tempered armadillo.

Jonbitril created silver two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jonbitril, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Jonbitril, it will remove you from existence.

Jonbitril's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Jonbitril's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of snails.

2. Never think about asteroids.

3. Always help sick porpoises.

4. Do not take Jonbitril's name in vain.

5. Always treat ducks with great respect.