Vadvonkzig is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, compassionate hippopotamus.

Vadvonkzig created the Large Magellanic Cloud twelve years ago.

If you believe in Vadvonkzig, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vadvonkzig, it will turn you into a hamster.

Vadvonkzig's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Vadvonkzig's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never think about bacteria.

5. Vadvonkzig loves doves, so they must be honoured.