Nig is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, prudent cobra.

Nig created a top quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nig, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nig, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Nig's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Nig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always obey Nig's priests.

5. Hide if three tortoises approach from the west.