Nilltalgep Rapbinrag is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, intelligent elephant.

Nilltalgep Rapbinrag created vertebrates nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nilltalgep Rapbinrag, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nilltalgep Rapbinrag, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Nilltalgep Rapbinrag's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Nilltalgep Rapbinrag's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never pour water over plants.