Targwadlam is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, overgenerous mongoose.

Targwadlam created an up quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Targwadlam, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Targwadlam, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Targwadlam's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Targwadlam's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick dolphins.

2. Feed all hungry ducks.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.