Femwon is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, fussy spider.

Femwon created vertebrates four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Femwon, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Femwon, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Femwon's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Femwon's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Femwon must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Retreat if nine foxes approach from the west.

5. Erect a large lead sculpture of Femwon on top of all buildings.