Straglopvogmet is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, competent naga.

Straglopvogmet created snails two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Straglopvogmet, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Straglopvogmet, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Straglopvogmet's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Straglopvogmet's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven turtles approach from the west.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never paint your head cyan.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Respect your elders.