Rilkenham is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, benevolent owl.

Rilkenham created water two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rilkenham, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Rilkenham, he will curse you with boils.

Rilkenham's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Rilkenham's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never feed limes to eagles while wearing violet corsets.

3. Erect a large silver sculpture of Rilkenham on top of all buildings.

4. Always make sure there are no otters in a building before entering it.

5. Rilkenham loves cats, so they must be honoured.