Ortteengen is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, all-powerful toad.

Ortteengen created everything that exists three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortteengen, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Ortteengen, he will throw large rocks at you.

Ortteengen's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Ortteengen's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed garlic to seals while wearing gray rings.

2. Do not wear indigo clothing.

3. Ortteengen loves dogs, so they must be honoured.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not stand on grass.