Bafbepran Bapminmon is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, calm manatee.

Bafbepran Bapminmon created bats two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bafbepran Bapminmon, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Bafbepran Bapminmon, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Bafbepran Bapminmon's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Bafbepran Bapminmon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

2. Run away from blue dogs, for they are unholy.

3. Run away if three moths approach from the north.

4. Do not dye your hair black.

5. Never talk about chlorophyll.