Hogripqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, deceitful shark.

Hogripqueeg created the universe two million years ago.

If you believe in Hogripqueeg, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hogripqueeg, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Hogripqueeg's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Hogripqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep three monkeys in a large pit.

2. Feed all hungry geese.

3. Never talk about special relativity near horses while wearing cyan dresses and balancing eight tin spheres on your back.

4. Erect a giant mauve sculpture of Hogripqueeg in the centre of the settlement.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.