Fubqueegkam Mumcunnell is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, amazing bee.

Fubqueegkam Mumcunnell created the universe five million years ago.

If you believe in Fubqueegkam Mumcunnell, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fubqueegkam Mumcunnell, he will turn you into a tree.

Fubqueegkam Mumcunnell's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Fubqueegkam Mumcunnell's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never write about thermodynamics.

3. Hide if eight whales approach from the east.

4. Run away if five capybaras approach from the south.

5. Do not wear platinum on your body.