Baprulbad is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, sage rhinoceros.

Baprulbad created Mount Everest two million years ago.

If you believe in Baprulbad, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Baprulbad, it will turn you into a rock.

Baprulbad's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Baprulbad's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. You must never eat figs.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never think ill of sick badgers.