Bellhonjarnlim is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, impressive hedgehog.

Bellhonjarnlim created Asia three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bellhonjarnlim, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bellhonjarnlim, she will boil you in a big pot.

Bellhonjarnlim's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Bellhonjarnlim's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear pink scarves.

2. Do not speak about garlic.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snakes.

5. Do not keep five porpoises in a large pit.