Nartbimlun Zanfitgan is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, boastful cobra.

Nartbimlun Zanfitgan created a bottom quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartbimlun Zanfitgan, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Nartbimlun Zanfitgan, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Nartbimlun Zanfitgan's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Nartbimlun Zanfitgan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

4. Worship no other gods but Nartbimlun Zanfitgan.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity near great tits while wearing green ear rings and balancing eight zinc spheres on your head.