Babsterlid is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unthinking goat.

Babsterlid created a top quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Babsterlid, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Babsterlid, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Babsterlid's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Babsterlid's Holy Commandments

1. Learn nine new languages a year.

2. Worship no other gods but Babsterlid.

3. Do not sprint in public.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.