Narjapnat is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, wise meerkat.

Narjapnat created oxygen eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Narjapnat, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Narjapnat, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Narjapnat's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Narjapnat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not leap in public.

3. Always make sure there are no mice in a building before entering it.

4. Never look at stars.

5. Never paint your face pink.