Ominwatkam is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, dishonest porpoise.

Ominwatkam created the Tadpole Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Ominwatkam, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Ominwatkam, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Ominwatkam's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Ominwatkam's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never think ill of sick seals.

3. Do not jump in public.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never talk about quantum mechanics.