Timditfag is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, annoying swan.

Timditfag created the Sun nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Timditfag, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Timditfag, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Timditfag's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Timditfag's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

2. Never think ill of sick squirrels.

3. Never think about dark energy near shrews while wearing fawn hats and balancing six tin spheres on your face.

4. Always look after injured pigs.

5. Never think about nucleic acids.