Bagmobvab is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, merciful elephant.

Bagmobvab created the solar system two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bagmobvab, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bagmobvab, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bagmobvab's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Bagmobvab's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never write about dark energy.

3. Erect a large iron sculpture of Bagmobvab on top of all buildings.

4. You must never eat lemons.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.