Flappidhas is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, unthinking wolf.

Flappidhas created carbon three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flappidhas, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flappidhas, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Flappidhas' most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Flappidhas' Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Run away from purple voles, for they are unholy.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never talk about ultrasonics near gulls while wearing black ear rings and balancing four iron spheres on your face.