Fetflamzod is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, staggering cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Fetflamzod created Asia two million years ago.

If you believe in Fetflamzod, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fetflamzod, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Fetflamzod's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Fetflamzod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Worship no other gods but Fetflamzod.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never wear rings.

5. Do not drink alcohol.