Haskenben is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, passionate finch.

Haskenben created a photon two million years ago.

If you believe in Haskenben, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Haskenben, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Haskenben's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Haskenben's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from orange eagles for they are unholy.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never paint your legs brown.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate voles.

5. Never play with disobedient children.