Cintanort is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, conceited gnu.

Cintanort created the cosmos two million years ago.

If you believe in Cintanort, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cintanort, it will boil you in a big pot.

Cintanort's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Cintanort's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from orange sharks for they are unholy.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cintanort.

3. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.