Xengodlam is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, witless slug.

Xengodlam created energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Xengodlam, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Xengodlam, it will turn you into a goat.

Xengodlam's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Xengodlam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep four grasshopers in a large pit.

2. Never think ill of sick hamsters.

3. Never feed lots of lemons to snails while wearing red boots.

4. Always help doves.

5. Never pour water over plants.