Jarnbemfub is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, loving weasel.

Jarnbemfub created an up quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnbemfub, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Jarnbemfub, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Jarnbemfub's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Jarnbemfub's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jarnbemfub.

3. Hide if seven shrews approach from the south.

4. Do not kill moths.

5. Learn three new languages a year.