Tintipwip is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, unthinking centipede.

Tintipwip created vertebrates four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tintipwip, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tintipwip, he will turn you into a slug.

Tintipwip's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Tintipwip's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Tintipwip.

2. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never go into turquoise rooms.

5. Put Tintipwip first in all things.