Larpfedgom Wadqueegsand is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, all-powerful aardvark.

Larpfedgom Wadqueegsand created the universe nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larpfedgom Wadqueegsand, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Larpfedgom Wadqueegsand, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Larpfedgom Wadqueegsand's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Larpfedgom Wadqueegsand's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never think about quantum field theory near gulls while wearing gray rings and balancing eight carbon spheres on your chest.

3. Never write about dwarf planets.

4. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Larpfedgom Wadqueegsand in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never pour water over plants.