Bassfatquag is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, intelligent dugong.

Bassfatquag created life eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bassfatquag, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bassfatquag, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Bassfatquag's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Bassfatquag's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Bassfatquag.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never sit in holy places.

5. Never feed lots of grapes to hamsters while wearing red tights.