Tarpnurtapp is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, duplicitous hummingbird.

Tarpnurtapp created Asia two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarpnurtapp, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tarpnurtapp, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Tarpnurtapp's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Tarpnurtapp's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always obey Tarpnurtapp's priests.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sheep.