Popmutfut is a god.

He takes the form of a large, temperamental naga.

Popmutfut created dark matter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Popmutfut, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Popmutfut, he will turn you into a mouse.

Popmutfut's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Popmutfut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

2. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a building before entering it.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.