Daplamlab is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, thoughtless yak.

Daplamlab created a strange quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Daplamlab, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Daplamlab, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Daplamlab's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Daplamlab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nucleic acids.

2. Never talk about manatees.

3. Run away from orange moths, for they are unholy.

4. Never wear ear rings.

5. Learn nine new languages a year.