Pangnarsanflis is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, staggering donkey.

Pangnarsanflis created the Cigar Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Pangnarsanflis, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Pangnarsanflis, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Pangnarsanflis' most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Pangnarsanflis' Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Pangnarsanflis on top of all buildings.

5. Always take life seriously.
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