Parkcabmif is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, clever tapir.

Parkcabmif created bats seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkcabmif, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Parkcabmif, she will send you a sign.

Parkcabmif's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Parkcabmif's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large copper sculpture of Parkcabmif on top of all buildings.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Parkcabmif.

3. Never talk about optics.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Respect your elders.