Barnhabfub is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, witty newt.

Barnhabfub created dark matter eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Barnhabfub, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Barnhabfub, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Barnhabfub's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Barnhabfub's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Barnhabfub.

2. Hide if seven badgers approach from the south.

3. Never feed peanuts to cats while wearing red shorts.

4. Always look after injured manatees.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics near squirrels while wearing yellow dresses and balancing nine tin spheres on your head.