Natflamnell is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, ill-tempered bird.

Natflamnell created carbon two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Natflamnell, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Natflamnell, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Natflamnell's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Natflamnell's Holy Commandments

1. Birds are not to be trusted.

2. Never talk about nucleic acids.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. You must pray to Natflamnell three times a day.