Xem is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, resourceful zebra.

Xem created humanity three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xem, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Xem, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Xem's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Xem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Run away if five whales approach from the north.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.