Kanfudsas is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, able chinchilla.

Kanfudsas created the Small Magellanic Cloud four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kanfudsas, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kanfudsas, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Kanfudsas' most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Kanfudsas' Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Kanfudsas must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never laugh near snails.