Pomyattyar is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, amazing fish.

Pomyattyar created an electron six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pomyattyar, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Pomyattyar, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Pomyattyar's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Pomyattyar's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never hurt aardvarks.

4. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Pomyattyar on top of all buildings.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.