Bitcincan is a god.

He takes the form of a large, selfish shrew.

Bitcincan created dark energy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitcincan, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bitcincan, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Bitcincan's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Bitcincan's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention pigs.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Seals are not to be trusted.

4. Never think about thermodynamics near mites while wearing gray shirts and balancing eight nickel spheres on your legs.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.