Zimvilraw is a god.

He takes the form of a small, fussy monkey.

Zimvilraw created humanity six million years ago.

If you believe in Zimvilraw, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Zimvilraw, he will torture you forever.

Zimvilraw's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Zimvilraw's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. You must pray to Zimvilraw nine times a day.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Run away if six hamsters approach from the north.