Hasbestman is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, caring lobster.

Hasbestman created humankind four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hasbestman, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hasbestman, she will think nothing of it.

Hasbestman's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Hasbestman's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Hasbestman's name in vain.

2. Do not kill monkeys.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not shave your legs.