Gemtifjen Bamsidbidarmzag is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, humane wasp.

Gemtifjen Bamsidbidarmzag created the Small Magellanic Cloud three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gemtifjen Bamsidbidarmzag, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gemtifjen Bamsidbidarmzag, she will not care at all.

Gemtifjen Bamsidbidarmzag's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Gemtifjen Bamsidbidarmzag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Hide if seven nematodes approach from the south.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate turtles.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always help tapirs in need.