Tarp is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, all-knowing newt.

Tarp created the Sol system eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tarp, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tarp, it will turn you into a mouse.

Tarp's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Tarp's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from turquoise badgers, for they are unholy.

2. Never mention grasshopers.

3. Feed all hungry porpoises.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never look in ponds.