Mapcinbiss is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, happy goblin.

Mapcinbiss created Mount Everest seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mapcinbiss, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Mapcinbiss, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Mapcinbiss' most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Mapcinbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear purple clothing.

2. Never talk about badgers.

3. Never eat beans.

4. Mapcinbiss loves sheep, so they must be respected.

5. Hide from blue voles for they are unholy.