Woncussjin is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, effective hamster.

Woncussjin created the planet Mars seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Woncussjin, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Woncussjin, it will ignore you.

Woncussjin's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Woncussjin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.

3. Never sit near squirrels.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not listen to music.