Quartjadboplegbess is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, generous hippopotamus.

Quartjadboplegbess created a quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quartjadboplegbess, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Quartjadboplegbess, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Quartjadboplegbess' most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Quartjadboplegbess' Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always obey Quartjadboplegbess' priests.

3. Do not speak about lemons.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate voles.

5. Never feed aubergines to snakes while wearing coats.