Fotlogsak is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, emotional gorilla.

Fotlogsak created the planet Earth two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fotlogsak, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Fotlogsak, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Fotlogsak's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Fotlogsak's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. Never write about comets.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never talk about photosynthesis.