Maplakfidwanruttnad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, all-knowing dugong.

Maplakfidwanruttnad created bats four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Maplakfidwanruttnad, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Maplakfidwanruttnad, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Maplakfidwanruttnad's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Maplakfidwanruttnad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed spinach to goats while wearing skirts.

2. Never feed lots of coconuts to mites while wearing white trousers.

3. Feed all hungry voles.

4. Never think about amino acids.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.